Prank War
by Dark Devil14
Summary: Sima Yi v.s Zhuge Liang Prank War. They will have 1 prank each a day. Maybe two but, that's more long for a chapter. It all starts off with Zhuge and a pair of Scissors...How Sad.
1. Getting Started

**Starting the Prank**

It's only one kingdom so Wu, Shu, and Wei are at the same territory.

Everybody's asleep except that stupefied Zhuge Liang. He has with him, a pair of scissors. He quietly kept into Sima's Room and aborted next to him, and lifted his blanket.

"Oh God! What kind of clothes do you wear to sleep young man!" Zhuge thought.

But it was only a simple, dress-looking thing. With that, Zhuge started cutting holes. BIG HOLES. And maybe a few rips of the dress-thing too.

"Let's see how you react in the morning."

Zhuge, covering back Sima with the blankets, crept out of the room and was outside the palace. With that, he placed small blanket to sleep on under Sima's window to see his reaction the next day.

Morning came and it is probably 10 o'clock on the dot. Sima fully woke up, not noticing his clothes and left to the kitchen after his clean up (Brushing, Toilet Crap, Floss). Meanwhile, Zhuge was already awake going to the palace.

"God, what's for breakfast?" Sima asked.

Soldiers, Generals, and Sub-Generals looked at him with TERRIBLE LAUGHTER.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Goes the Room…

"Oh, That's REALLLY FUNNY…" Sima pissed off looked in the Cabinets.

Zhuge came in and at the sight of Sima, he broke into terrible laughter as well…

"The hell is wrong with you people!"

Zhuge, still laughing gave him a mirror. Lookin in it, Sima didn't see anything.

"Look Down then…" Zhuge advised.

Sima looked down on his clothing, and saw his pathetic clothing.

"WHAT IS THIS!"

Zhuge cried out, "Ooooohhhh….that must be a really harsh night for you huh Sima?"

Sima Yi didn't believe that. He then saw the scissors in Zhuge's pocket.

"You dirty old man! You CAME IN MY ROOM AND CUT HOLES ON MY CLOTHING?"

So, you've found out, smart guy.

"This means WAR ZHUGE!"

"Not War, Prank…War…"

Sima Yi, along with the other generals, were pretty surprised.

"What's going on Zhuge? What has that small brain of yours been planning?"

"Nothing. I'm just having some fun with you. Seeing that you haven't talked to me for a while, I wanted to prank you, just to make the story interesting."

"Fine! Have it your way! But there must be a winning prize!"

Zhuge and Sima though for it. Sima said that if Zhuge wins him, then he can have his fortune, and Zhuge will give up his wife, Yue Ying.

"WHO THE HELL WANTS YOUR WIFE?"

"Becareful of what you say. I have read stories that you have actually raped my own wife. So with that, you can have her."

"You sick little bastard….Fine. Deal!"

Shaking hands, both men were leaving. But before Zhuge left completely, Sima ran up to Zhuge and kicked him RIGHT where it HURTS.

"We're even now. That makes up for the clothing."

Zhuge was literally on the floor in pain…..Ouch. All Sima Yi did was laugh his ass off.

"So Long…ZhuPAIN Liang. Hahahaha!"

**Sima Yi: 1**

**Zhuge Liang: 1**

**Man! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I haven't typed a story for so long, I've lost my sense of description. Just kidding. I'm lazy alright! Just go with the flow….**


	2. War 1

**War One**

**Setting: Mountain Restaurant**

It was a day, where everybody was at peace, except those…2. Sometime at a restaurant, Zhen Ji, Cao Pi, Zhang He, and Sima Yi were invited there by Zhuge and his wife Yue Ying.

"What's this about?" asked Sima.

"Oh, nothing. I thought that it would be nice to dine out first before this 'war' and so on."

So then, each looked at the menus. About 5 minutes, they had thought about their orders.

Zhen Ji with her Chicken Salad. Cao Pi with his Sushi. Zhang He with a Diet Green Tea. Sima Yi with his Chicken Porridge. Yue Ying with grilled duck. Zhuge Liang with his Chicken, Beef, and Salmon Combo.

Sima asked, "Zhang He. What the hell is wrong with you and a DIET?"

"Well, I wanna stay fit! Unlike some people here, chicken porridge is disgusting. I heard that it's made of……OH THE HEAVENS ABOVE! HELP ME!"

Everybody wondered, but couldn't figure it out.

"So, Zhen, Chicken Salad?" Cao Pi laughed.

"What? Green makes you horny doesn't it?" Zhen thought.

Cao Pi laughed.

"Is all you think about is being perverted and sexy? How selfish." Yue Ying remarked.

"Well, at least I didn't get raped by Sima Yi AND Zhuge at the sametime! Humph!" Zhen countered.

Yue Ying knew she was right, but….didn't say anything. Soon, the food came and everybody had a bite of each. Cao Cao, out of no where, came to see Sima Yi, so he went out of the restaurant. Zhuge, with his plan, took Sima's porridge and took some mouthfuls. He didn't like it so he drank some and spit it out from his mouth and threw it back out into another bowl. With that, he did it again and again. By the end, he just gave a few spits in it. Everyone in the table saw, outraged. When Sima came back in, he was about to eat the porridge.

"Oh God No!" Zhang He cried.

"What is it now? What is this made out of? Piss?" Sima Yi sighed.

The girls at the table just laughed. Cao Pi, despised Sima Yi, didn't say anything. Without anymore hesication, Sima just took a bite. Everyone just ducked their heads down and chuckled.

"Here, I think we should just stop this because this is getting ridiculous." Sima declared.

But Zhuge didn't listen and just started to laugh like an ANIMAL.

"What did you do?" Sima shouted and started to examine the porridge. He knew something was wrong so he got out of his seat to the bathroom, but before he went, he took Zhuge's wallet that was on the table. And he didn't notice.

At the restroom, Yi just threw up all of the porridge he ate and threw the wallet INTO the water of barf and didn't flush. He was smart enough to know that Zhuge will come in and use the bathroom, and since there was only one toilet available, he HAS to see the wallet. Going out, Sima encountered Zhuge going in.

"Have a great time in there," Sima said with a wink. Zhuge went inside to use it, and directly saw his wallet. "SON OF A BITCH!" And…yeah. He took it out with two fingers, trying not to get infected with the barf, and then did his thing. He went back outside to the restaurant and looked at Sima with his DEVIL EYE. Sima was just laughing and laughing as Liang threw his soaked up wallet on the table.

"Smell it. Go on smell it!" Sima laughed and took the wallet and threw it in Zhuge's face.

"Uggh! Ugghh!" cried Zhuge AND Zhang He.

"Why don't you pay the bill buddy?" Sima asked.

So saying, Zhuge got two forks and tried to take out a 20 buck bill. And….he did. It was still covered in the odor of the barf and remains. They left with smiles, frowns, and laughter.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sima HAD to laugh.

Zhuge Liang, pissed, spit in his face.

"Uggghhh!" cried Yi and smearing it out of his face.

"Who's got the last laugh now, Sima Spit?" Zhuge laughed.

Hahahahahahahaha! Out goes everybody……

**Sima Yi: 2**

**Zhuge Liang: 3**

**Oh Dear. This was for a friend, who DESPARETELY WANTED ME TO WRITE THIS CHAPTER! Somehow, she'll read this in time. Hey, when you DO read this, I'll do the same exact thing to you. You better watch out! J/K. Hahahaha. ****Winks**

**Laters Dudes!**

**Wait? Should I set up catagories? Like...Scissor fight. Water Battle? Fire attack? Hahahaha... **


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